Monday, 17 March 2014

Back to it


I don't know about you but adjusting to a new season can be a bumpy ride for me, and this one has been a bit that way. That's not to say I'm not loving the lighter mornings and the (temporary?) abatement of The Deluge. The blossoms and shoots and joyful dawn chorus put Spring in my step that's for sure, but I lost my focus. The month I spent away from social media, and sticking to a practice of starting the day in silence, with a notebook, pen and dogs, brought me a clarity and confidence in my own voice that I haven't experienced before. Then it all went topsy turvy. The mornings got lighter so I stayed out longer enjoying the sunrise and the morning air, which meant coming back straight into packed lunches and breakfasts. I felt good about my plans for the future so I stopped journalling - just as stupid as stopping taking vitamin tablets because you feel so much better (yes I always do that). I went back to Twitter and Instagram and Facebook to varying degrees and suddenly my head was full of Other People's Stuff. I don't hate that - after all I like social media because it lets me know how my friends are and what work the people I admire are doing (many fall into both categories of course). I'm interested in other people and I love having a window on things they want to share but it fills up my brain. My bad. I don't spend hours a day refreshing social media apps or thinking about Ms X's awesome new role and Mr Y's dog's cute face but it just takes up space that I need for my own creativity.

I'm taking a step back from social media again until I can learn how to just check in once a day. This morning I set my alarm back 15 minutes in preparation for returning to my 5am rising. A couple of weeks and I'll be there. After our walk I lit my candle, opened a notebook (I found a new one of my very favourites) and wrote. Immediately the feeling of mental stagnation cleared. I need a structure and self-discipline and with them I thrive - they make me immensely strong. I've avoided them my whole life and only just discovered that that..is why I can't have nice things. Who knew?

You might notice I've added a thingy to the sidebar here. I wanted a way to write proper notes to people. Share some little pieces of magic and light that don't always find their way into blog posts. It could be fun. And MailChimp is a whole new neural pathway for this monkey.

2 comments:

  1. I've been going through a Twitter purge, unfollowing people for various reasons. I realised that guilt of unfollowing was holding me in Twitter overwhelm! Feels good to have had a sift through.

    I admire your getting up early. I would love to be up with the sun but I'm not sure it will help with my energy issues. Do you go to bed really early to manage it?

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  2. Well I don't think it's early but Charlie, who is a night owl, does! I'm in bed for 10 at the latest (luckily I fall asleep quickly most nights) and at 9 if I want to give myself an extra boost. I've always been the same, I'm utterly useless after 9pm but wake up and 'switch on' quickly, so the mornings are way more productive for me. I have terrible 'unfollow guilt'. I'm sure very few people actually check and even less feel anything at all about it but I totally understand how you felt. Good for you for doing it anyway, I may follow suit!

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